Have you ever wondered what our furry friends are thinking? What would they say to us if they could speak?
Hopefully, we will be able to know this in the future, but for now, we have to look at the next best thing.
Over the centuries since dogs have been around humans, many intellectuals, philosophers, and even celebrities have had a thing or two to say about their beloved companions.
You probably even came across some of these writings on social media. However, most of the time, people post these things as if they wrote them themselves.
In this article, which is a bit different than all the others, we pay tribute to the greatest animal we could ever wish for and give credit where credit’s due.
So, prepare to read some of the greatest thoughts and sayings from some of the most influential people ever to have lived.
Funny dog quotes
1. “A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.” —Helen Thomson
2. “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” —Robert Benchley
3. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” —Marilyn Monroe
4. “If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.” —Phil Pastoret
5. “My dog is half pit-bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip!”
― Craig Shoemaker
6. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” —Franklin P. Jones
7. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”
― Andy Rooney
8. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron
9. “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” —Agnes Sligh Turnbull
10. “The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog.”
― Carrie Underwood
11. “It’s hard not to immediately fall in love with a dog who has a good sense of humor.”
― Kate DiCamillo
12. “My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.” —Joe Weinstein
13. “You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’” —Dave Barry
14. “It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal.” ―John Grogan
15. “A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.” –Barack Obama
16. “When I walk my dog, people always ask if we’re twins.” ―Jarod Kintz
17. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” —Ann Landers
18. “Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot little puppies.” ―Gene Hill
19. “Dogs have boundless enthusiasm, but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach.” ―Moby
20. “My fashion philosophy is if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” ―Elayne Boosler
21. “Owners of dogs will have noticed that if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas, owners of cats are compelled to realize that if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
― Christopher Hitchens
22. “The dog has got more fun out of man than man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that man is the more laughable of the two animals.” ―James Thurber
23. “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms; one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him. Who would you assume is in charge?” ―Jerry Seinfeld
24. “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.” ―Sue Murphy
25. “Ever wonder where you’d end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash?” ―Robert Breault
26. “I wonder if other dogs think Poodles are members of a weird religious cult.” –Rita Rudner
27. “Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from the grocery store with the most amazing haul—chicken, pork, and half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!” ―Anne Tyler
28. “My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog!”
―Greg Curtis
29. “Life is a series of dogs.” —George Carlin
30. “The dog is the perfect portrait subject. He doesn’t pose. He isn’t aware of the camera.” —Patrick Demarchelier
31. “I always like a dog so long as he isn’t spelled backward.”
―G.K. Chesterton
32. “Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted.” ―Sian Fiord
33. “Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mother.”
―Jodi Picoult
34. “A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost.” –Charlotte Gray
35. “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” ―Franklin P. Jones
36. “Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.” ―Dave Barry
37. “If you don’t own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life.”
―Roger Caras
38. “To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence, the constant popularity of dogs.”
―Aldous Huxley
39. “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job!”
―George Carlin
40. “I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother.” –Bonnie Schacter
41. “If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wears a tail.” –Fran Lebowitz
42. “Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all.”
―John Grogan
43. “In times of joy, all of us wished we possessed a tail we could wag.”
―W. H. Auden
44. “There is one other reason for dressing well; namely, that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes.” ―Ralph Waldo Emerson
45. “Why is it we want so badly to memorialize ourselves? Even while we’re still alive. We wish to assert our existence, like dogs peeing on fire hydrants.” ―Margaret Atwood
46. “Dogs own space and cats own time.”
―Nicola Griffith
47. “I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.”
―Marie Corelli
48. “Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then, if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” ―Groucho Marx
49. “The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them.”
―Stanley Coren
50. “Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?”
―P.G. Wodehouse
51. “I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop!” –Jonah Goldberg
52. “I confronted the fact that I was not only talking to a dog, but answering for one.”
―Claire Cook
53. “I sometimes look into the face of my dog, Stan, and see a wistful sadness and existential angst when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.”
―Merrill Markoe
54. “Once bitten, twice shy? Sure, but… why not get a bigger dog and bite them back?”
―A.A. Bell
55. “As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”
―Jean Ferris
56. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.” –John Steinbeck
57. “There’s a certain type of person who, having read this far, is anxiously wondering: Does something bad happen to the dog?”
―Sigrid Nunez
58. “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” –Groucho Marx
Quotes about dogs as man’s best friend
1. “The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.” ―Samuel Butler
2. “The bond with a true dog is as lasting as the ties of this earth will ever be.” —Konrad Lorenz
3. “I’m a lot less cranky when it’s just me and my dog.” ―Bob Peterson
4. “The dog’s agenda is simple, fathomable, overt: I want. “I want to go out, come in, eat something, lie here, play with that, kiss you. There are no ulterior motives with a dog, no mind games, no second-guessing, no complicated negotiations or bargains, and no guilt trips or grudges if a request is denied.”
―Caroline Knapp
5. “You do not own a dog. You have a dog. And, the dog has you.” ―Chelsea Handler
6. “You’d help if you could, wouldn’t you, boy?” I said. “It’s no wonder they call you man’s best friend. Faithful and loyal and true, you share in our sorrows and rejoice with us in our triumphs; the truest friend we ever have known, a better friend than we deserve. You have thrown in your lot with us through thick and thin, on battlefield and hearthrug, refusing to leave your master even when death and destruction lie all around. Ah, noble dog, you are the furry mirror in which we see our better selves reflected. Man, as he could be, unstained by war or ambition, unspoilt by-”
―Connie Willis
7. “No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion than a dog.” –Stanley Leinwall
8. “Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it watching for us to come home each day.” –John Grogan
9. “Whoever said that diamonds are a girl’s best friend never owned a dog.” ―Unknown
10. “No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend.” —Will Rogers
11. “I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can’t get from no other source.” ―Doris Day
12. “Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.”
―Roger Caras
13. “The poor dog, in life, the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend.” –Lord Byron
14. “We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet, and amid all the forms of life that surround us. Not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.”
―Max Depree
15. “Before you get a dog, you can’t quite imagine what living with one might be like; afterward, you can’t imagine living any other way.” ―Caroline Knapp
16. “Dogs have a way of finding the people who need them, and filling an emptiness we didn’t ever know we had.” ―Thom Jones
17. “If you would invest in friendship, purchase a dog.” —Le Baron Cooke
18. “Dogs are loyal friends, and if they could talk, your secrets would still be safe. (If my cat could talk, I’d have to let the dog eat her.)” ―Richelle E. Goodrich
19. “Dogs are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions, they make no criticisms.” ―George Elliot
20. “After years of having a dog, you know him. You know the meaning of his snuffs and grunts and barks. Every twitch of the ears is a question or statement, every wag of the tail is an exclamation.”
―Robert R. McCammon
21. “No matter how close we are to another person, few human relationships are as free from strife, disagreement, and frustration as is the relationship you have with a good dog. Few human beings give of themselves to another as a dog gives of itself. I also suspect that we cherish dogs because their unblemished souls make us wish – consciously or unconsciously – that we were as innocent as they are, and make us yearn for a place where innocence is universal and where the meanness, the betrayals, and the cruelties of this world are unknown.”
―Dean Koontz
22. “There is no faith which has never yet been broken except that of a truly faithful dog”
―Konrad Lorenz
23. “No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.” –Christopher Morley
24. “The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog.” –George Graham
25. “No one can give anyone else the gift of the idyll; only an animal can do so because only animals were not expelled from Paradise. The love between dog and man is idyllic. It knows no conflicts, no hair-raising scenes; it knows no development.”
―Milan Kundera
26. “All his life, he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed.
For after all, he was only human. He wasn’t a dog.”
―Charles M. Schulz
27. “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.”
―Dean Koontz
28. “I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.”
―Bill Murray
29. “They had buried him under our elm tree, they said – yet, this was not totally true. For he really lay buried in my heart.”
―Willie Morris
Heartwarming dog quotes about love
1. “Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love; they depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog. It merely expands the heart.” ―Author Unknown
2. “Nobody can fully understand the meaning of love unless he has owned a dog. A dog can show you more honest affection with a flick of his tail than a man can gather through a lifetime of handshakes.” ―Gene Hill
3. “The world would be a nicer place if everyone had the ability to love as unconditionally as a dog.” ―M.K.Clinton
4. “You can tell by the kindness of a dog how a human should be.” —Captain Beefheart
5. “Dogs don’t make judgments about physical appearance or abilities, and they don’t care how big your house is or what you do for a living. They care about the quality of your character and your capacity to love.” ―Elizabeth Eiler
6. Dogs have more love than integrity. They’ve been true to us, yes, but they haven’t been true to themselves.” –Clarence Day
7. “The love of a dog is a pure thing. He gives you a trust which is total. You must not betray it.” ―Michel Houellebecq
8. “When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.” —Eckhart Tolle
9. “Actually, my dog I think is the only person who consistently loves me all the time.” ―H. G. Bissinger
10. “A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won’t be too bad.” ―Robert Wagner
11. “Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one is a life diminished.” –Dean Koontz
12. “Rescued is my favorite breed.” ―Unknown
13. “Dogs leave pawprints on our hearts” ―Unknown
14. “You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you they will be there long before any of us.” –Robert Louis
15. “Buy a pup and your money will buy love unflinching.” —Rudyard Kipling
16. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives, and even how much closer we become with each other because of them.” ―John Grogan
17. “Fall in love with a dog, and in many ways, you enter a new orbit; a universe that features not just new colors, but new rituals, new rules, and a new way of experiencing attachment.” ―Caroline Knapp
18. “When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” ―Kristan Higgins
19. “The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man’s.” —Mark Twain
20. “The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.” ―Johnny Depp
21. “Every puppy should have a boy.” —Erma Bombeck
22. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” —Josh Billings
23. “Everything I know, I learned from dogs.”
―Nora Roberts
24. “Dogs live in the present… Every turn of a corner is the opportunity for a clean slate. Every bounce of a ball brings joy and the promise of a fresh chase.” ―Steven Rowley
25. “Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.” ―Alexander Pope
26. “If there are junk yards in hell, love is the dog that guards the gates.” ―Charles Bukowski
27. “Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ―Anatole France
28. “A dog has one aim in life…to bestow his heart.” ―J.R. Ackerley
29. “Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog,
but you’re never friendless ever if you have a dog.”
―Douglas Malloch
30. “We might miss the sign or we may be unable to read the expression, but it is almost a contradiction in terms to say that a dog feels something but does not show it. What a dog feels, a dog shows, and conversely, what a dog shows, a dog actually does feel.”
―Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson
31. “There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.” —Ben Williams
32. “The dog is the most faithful of animals, and would be much esteemed were it not so common. Our Lord God has made His greatest gifts the commonest.”
―Martin Luther
33. “Dogs are loyal, patient, fearless, forgiving, and capable of pure love. Virtues that few people get through life without abandoning at least once.” —M.K. Clinton
34. “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” ―Gilda Radner
35. “Did you know that there are over 300 words for love in canine?” ―Gabrielle Zevin
36. “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”
―Mark Twain
37. “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”
―Mark Twain
38. “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.”
―Will Rogers
39. “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”
―Roger Caras
40. “You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.”
―W. Bruce Cameron
41. “Heaven is a place where all the dogs you’ve ever loved come to greet you.”
―Oliver Gaspirtz
42. “For me, a house or an apartment becomes a home when you add one set of four legs, a happy tail, and that indescribable measure of love that we call a dog.” ―Roger Caras
Inspirational quotes about dogs
1. “Dogs are the magicians of the universe.”
―Clarissa Pinkola Estés
2. “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you feel rich.”
–Louis Sabin
3. “If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals.” –Albert Einstein
4. “There’s a saying: If you want someone to love you forever, buy a dog, feed it, and keep it around.” –Dick Dale
5. “I think having an animal in your life makes you a better human.” –Rachael Ray
6. “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don’t know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden where doing nothing was not boring—it was peace.” —Milan Kundera
7. “In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” —Edward Hoagland
8. “Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart.” –Dorothy Hinshaw
9. “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” –Dwight D. Eisenhower
10. “Intelligent dogs rarely want to please people whom they do not respect.” –W.R. Koehler
11. “Does not the gratitude of the dog put to shame any man who is ungrateful to his benefactors?” –Saint Basil
12. “Everyone thinks they have the best dog. And, none of them are wrong.” ―W.R. Purche
13. “Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others, we take for walks.” —Roger Caras
14. “Discipline isn’t about showing a dog who’s boss; it’s about taking responsibility for a living creature you have brought into your world.”
―Cesar Millan
15. “We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment to animals.” –Immanuel Kant
16. “Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.” ―Kinky Friedman
17. “If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am” –Charles Yu
18. “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” —Mahatma Gandhi
19. “Don’t make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans or they’ll treat you like dogs.”
―Martha Scott
20. “There is honor in being a dog.” —Aristotle
21. “Every dog must have his day.”
―Jonathan Swift
22. “Any man with money to make the purchase may become a dog’s owner. But, no man – spend he ever so much coin and food and tact in the effort – may become a dog’s Master without consent of the dog. Do you get the difference? And, he whom a dog once unreservedly accepts as Master is forever that dog’s God.”
―Albert Payson Terhune
23. “To err is human—to forgive, canine.” ―Unknown
24. “Joyful, joyful, joyful,
as only dogs know how to be happy
with only the autonomy
of their shameless spirit.”
―Pablo Neruda
25. “The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his.” ―James Thurber
26. “A dog is like a person—he needs a job and a family to be what he’s meant to be.”
―Andrew Vachss
27. “We never really own a dog as much as he own us.”―Gene Hill
28. “Dogs are wise. They crawl away into a quiet corner and lick their wounds and do not rejoin the world until they are whole once more.” ―Agatha Christie
More quotes about dogs that you might like
1. “Happiness is a warm puppy.” —Charles Schulz
2. “My little dog―a heartbeat at my feet.” —Edith Wharton
3. “Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.” —Orhan Pamuk
4. “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.”
―Woodrow Wilson
5. “I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.”
―Abraham Lincoln
6. “If your dog doesn’t like someone, you probably shouldn’t either.” ―Jack Canfield
7. “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” ―Charles de Gaulle
8. “For a man living alone, dogs are almost more important than human beings.” ―Richard Katz
9. “Be prepared. A dog is adorable and noble. A dog is a true and loving friend. A dog is also a hedonist.” —Mary Oliver
10. “A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.” ―Arthur Conan Doyle
11. “My idea of absolute happiness is to be in bed on a rainy day with my blankie, my cat, and my dog.” –Anne Lamott
12. “I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs.” –Barbara Woodhouse
13. “It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.” –Rodney Dangerfield
14. “The gift which I am sending you is called a dog, and is, in fact, the most precious and valuable possession of mankind” –Theodorus Gaza
15. “There’s just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they’re thrilled to see you. They’re good for the ego.” –Janet Schnellman
16. “Who loves me loves my dog also.” —St. Bernard de Clairvaux
17. “Some animals are cunning and evil-disposed as the fox; others, as the dog, are fierce, friendly, and fawning. Some are gentle and easily tamed as the elephant; some are susceptible of shame and watchful as the goose. Some are jealous and fond of ornament as the peacock.” —Aristotle
18. “Questers of the truth, that’s who dogs are; seekers after the invisible scent of another being’s authentic core.” ―Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson
19. “God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there.” ―Billy Graham
Something for the end
Photo from @house.pomeranin
From ancient Greek philosophers to modern-day celebrities, there have been thousands of people who have shared the same thing–love for their canine companions.
If we can learn anything from them, it is that dogs will always be our best friends and we should treat them with kindness and shower them with love each and every day of their lives.
For the end, we will quote Douglas Mallock, an American poet who wrote the following:
“Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog, but you’re never friendless ever if you have a dog.”
